Don’t fall in love with a Tribble, my friend,
life soon will head for a cuddly, soft end,
she’ll poop on your Klingon superior’s hand,
mistake your knick-knacks, hair and clothes for nibbles, friend.
Don’t fall in love with a Tholian, my sweet,
hermaphrodites might seem cool when you meet,
but weird bondage games and a surplus of feet
will turn you into an arachnophobian, my sweet.
Don’t fall in love with a Gorn, old chap,
she can’t tell salpeter from dickybird crap.
Embraces that injure and kisses that snap –
are you really into dino porn, old chap?
Don’t fall in love with a Horta, my dear,
your walls will have holes and your friends disappear,
you’ll never tell her face from her rear,
I would rather cut my own aorta, dear.
(Lyrics: Eva Van Daele-Hunt, based on „I Love You Truly“, Music: Carrie Jacobs-Bond)