Tell me why you lack wit and tact,
tell me why you don’t think ere you act,
tell me why you rely on luck
and I will tell you why Griffindors suck.
Tell me why you speak like a scroll,
tell me why you strive with no goal,
tell me why you’re cold as a sphinx
and I will tell you why Ravenclaw stinks.
Tell me why you drudge and crawl,
tell me why your dreams are so small,
tell me why no-one knows your name
and I will tell you why Hufflepuff’s lame.
Tell me why we don’t need the pack,
tell me why we watch our back,
tell me why we spurn mudbloods and fools
and I will tell you why Slytherin rules!
(Lyrics: Eva Van Daele-Hunt, based on “Tell Me Why, Music: traditional)